He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
