Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
