Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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