i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
