I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
