why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
