I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
