Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
