why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
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