does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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