Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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