fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
