Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You smell like stripper and shame
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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