dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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