Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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