It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
