I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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