Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
