you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
