i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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