How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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