i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Randomize
