so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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