what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Did I show you my penis last night?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
