What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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