Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
