So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
