i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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