Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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