Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
