That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
