I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
