Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
