Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
