hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
