i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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