He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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