I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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