Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
