Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
