she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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