SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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