Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
