He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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