That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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