i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
