Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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