and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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