try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
