I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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